Dear Diary,
It has been increasingly difficult to take care of Paul. Even though he
is only four weeks onld, he weighs more than 150 pounds. His appetite is
causing us to sell off everything on our farm to have enough money to purchase
food supplies for him.
Just yesterday, he ate 56 flapjacks, 104 scrambled eggs, 32 loaves of bread
with 20 pounds of butter and to wash it all down, 275 gallons of cow's milk.
The neighbors are starting to complain that when Paul crawls, he is causing
earthquakes frequently in the surrounding areas. Consequently, the the town's
people are becoming quit angry with the destruction of their homes, farms,
and property. We tried putting him in a gigantic floating cradle, to send
him down the coast of Maine, but still the neighbors and townspeople came
back with complaints that when Paul rolled over he caused title waves, which
flooded the entire town.
My wife and I are desperate to save Paul, yet the deteriorating village.
Our last hope, as much as we hate it, is to send Paul faraway and allow
him to survive in the wilderness by himself.
Although my heart is breaking at the thought of losing my son, I don't see
any other choice...
Son, I love you and I always will.
Love you always,
Mom